Below is a recent Huffington Post article by Elena Brower on the so-called "John Friend Controversy". Misconduct in the Yoga world ... but of course, there is misconduct in every sphere, every industry so am not at all surprised. Not that I am condoning it either. I remember I got into a (slightly heated) discussion with some yoga practitioners on this topic when I was at a retreat in Bali: is it okay for yoga instructors to bed their students, even they're both consenting adults? My answer is no (some think it's okay). The same reason why a doctor shouldn't bed their patients, teachers their students. The way I see it, there is this scared trust between teachers and students that shouldn't be breached (single or married). When a (male) instructor touches a (female) student, it is understood he is doing so to adjust a posture, not feeling her up. As simple as that. But at the same time, we are just humans and we all have emotions and impulses ... and yogis are not any different. My advice is, as students, just be sensible and, well, be alert.Yogis are not saints -- and even saints have their faults, I am sure.
I actually practised Anusara yoga when I first started my practice. That's partly because of my very inspiring teacher Lawrence, who made yoga so ... dramatic and fun. But eventually I stopped only because I don't think my body -- the tight shoulders and hips -- is built for this particular style (if there is such a thing). When I am upside down, there is NO WAY I can squeeze my shoulder blades and open my heart ... I just struggle to breathe and balance. Now I just have a mixed practice with special interest in Yin yoga. I've already signed up a Yin Yang workshop by the UK-based Simon Low next month. (Incidentally, John Friend was here last year to give a couple of workshops).
Source: Huffington Post
2002. Inner Harmony Retreat, Southern Utah. Forty of us in the room. Amongst
us were Desiree Rumbaugh, Deb Neubauer, Noah Maze, Christina Sell, Darren
Rhodes, Ross Rayburn, Sianna Sherman, Mitchel Bleier, Todd and Ann Norian,
Michelle Synnestvedt, Amy Ippoliti, Sue Elkind, Naime Jezzeny, Anthony Benenati.
It was an unforgettable time; John Friend was at his finest, delivering the most
crystalline teachings both physically and philosophically. Krishna Das played
for our shavasanas, Benjy and Heather Wertheimer played during our classes. We
were having consistent, deep experiences of our hearts and felt strong both
individually and as a community on that mountaintop. Profoundly inspired, we
brought those hours and pages of learnings home to our local communities and,
without knowing it at the time, were shifting the landscape of yoga forever. We
loved what we were learning, we cared deeply about our work as local teachers,
and we respected and loved John.
Since then, John Friend created for himself an interestingly powerful seat,
and amidst his stellar teaching, made some unfortunately destructive choices
over the years. After his disgruntled I.T. guy recently posted his salacious
electronic interactions for all the world to see, everything in the Anusara
community began to crumble. Within the context of that disintegration, it's
become apparent that within the community of teachers, there were two
discernible camps. As you'll see, one of the "camps" knew less and were
definitely more "in the dark" about the "real" John than others of us. Together,
we were a dedicated group of assiduously studious teachers who chose to be there
and truly did make an impact in the world of yoga. We received an incredibly
rich and precise education, and in the language of the heart, we all found our
voices and made real careers out of our work, and that felt so true for a long
time.
The Two "Camps" Within Anusara
There were the ones in John's closer circle who "knew" of his penchant for
women, partying and fun; I'm from that camp. None of us were shocked to see that
evidence, although admittedly it was disturbingly graphic and veered from
embarrassing to awful to deeply sad. I'll offer some thoughts from that
perspective in just a moment.
Then there were the ones who had absolutely no idea about any of it.
Those folks are devastated at John's breach of ethics and morals. To them, this
whole situation feels like the earth-shattering discovery of the end of the sky
on the Truman show. They're talking about the failed power grab, the
just-plain-icky "sex therapy" that looks eerily like sexual abuse within the
context of the student-teacher paradigm, except that the "victim" seems to have
been a willing participant. They're understandably disappointed to hear that he
cheated on his girlfriends repeatedly, lied to so many about his dealings and
whereabouts as certain relationships ended and others began. For them, this is
irreparably difficult, extremely sad, and truly the breakdown of a deeply-set
paradigm in their lives both personally and professionally, with potentially
far-reaching financial implications.
Even for us, the ones who knew some (but none of us really knew all of it),
it felt terrible to see, from both sides: How could he? But then we realized,
how could we? We were oftentimes complicit -- some of us enabled the
liar to lie by lying for him ourselves. There were these strangely
uncomfortable, spooky moments in the past few years, to be sure; I was asked to
help cover up one big personal lie for John, which ultimately needed to be
cleaned up on my end. There was some fairly erratic teaching and seemingly
incongruous commentaries as well. Shortly after the time that John unveiled his
new philosophical model of "Shiva-Shakti Tantra," there was also a shift in the
business model, it seemed: We were notified that we'd all be obliged to give him
first creative say in any products we made going forward and then 10 percent of
any revenue we generate from said products. It felt strange; this wasn't how it
was when it began. It felt desperate and wrong.
When we explored the legality of it all, it was clearly flawed and didn't
stand up. And, with all due respect, I never felt connected to the Shiva-Shakti
Tantra at all. It felt manufactured to me. I stayed because of the history, the
quality of my education, and most of all, my fear about losing my standing in
the yoga world. The night I called John to resign, back in October 2011, my
first apology was for letting that fear rule my world, for staying for the wrong
reasons, when true integrity would have had me leave long before.
John seemed threatened, sad, unsure and at times, unsteady. Several of us
tried to talk to him about it, only to be met with denial and even sometimes
anger, which in many cases drove us, in our own personal ways, into old patterns
of wanting to please our "parents": backtracking, questioning ourselves, adding
to the mounting pile of lies, assuaging him so we could stay in his good graces,
feel safe, and keep our lives in order. That part might be the saddest part, and
the part about which I'm personally most sorry, this repeating of family
patterns in this professional context.
Holding Out For Healing
I love the methodology of Anusara yoga. I've spent over a decade learning
this graceful technology of the body and articulating the voice of my heart;
both understandings are gifts for which I will always be grateful. Even though I
resigned my certification those months ago as a means of separating from the
aspects for which I don't stand, now I stand for forgiveness, and the
possibility that John can deliver, one by one, the necessary well-wrought
apologies. That he can true up his past and truly heal -- in honor of his
family, his school, his teachers, and his students. May he become an example of
burgeoning integrity for all the world to see.
Whether we left for fiduciary reasons, political reasons, or this misconduct;
whether we felt constrained by the requirements of class sequence and content
requirements or simply didn't connect authentically to the new philosophy, all
of which were true in part for me, the bottom line is that many of the finest
teachers in the land have had a hand in this ever-evolving dialogue. There is so
much possibility now; all of these well-trained teachers are fully empowered and
amongst the best in their craft. We should all be proud of the education we've
received, and commit to sharing it, collaborating and cultivating more spacious
conversation.
A couple of final notes, thank you for reading this far:
YogaDork, with all due
respect: That salacious, desperately sensationalized voice with which you wrote
the article "breaking" the story about John was not amongst your relevant
contributions to the yoga world thus far. It was painful to watch you make light
of a man's life like that, in the name of "news." I will not be
contributing any more to your page until you release a true apology -- both to
John and to the teachers who've spent years learning from him. He is another
human being, albeit with some highly questionable choices, but your heartless
articulation did nothing but harm your own credibility.
Finally, while this may seem elementary and too-sweet, the four-eyed dweeb in
me really wants to share this. A dear friend compared the teachers John has
trained to a handful of glitter. Imagine one big breeze, the glitter goes flying
far and wide, thereby spreading all of those distinct, sparkling voices
everywhere. Superbly trained teachers, these beautiful, fallible, dedicated
humans are sharing potent understandings of alignment and attention all over the
globe.
Find one, and take some time to study with them.