Some Quiet Thoughts

The yoga studio I go to celebrated its 10th anniversary yesterday. I was supposed to attend a special hot class at around noon but I was late; so I decided to stay behind for the small party they organised for their members, some have been with the studio since its opening in 2002. I normally wouldn't attend this kinda celebratory functions -- hanging around (esp) with a bunch of strangers really isn't my thing -- but I thought whadda hell, I didn't wanna head home and back to the studio again for another class later on in the afternoon. I'm glad I stayed. It was fun and the studio did well to have created a community. There's this old English guy who's been with the studio from day one and he was given a little award for being a long-term member. What a nice gesture. He happens to celebrate his 87th birthday this week and he said he probably wouldn't have lived this long had he not practised yoga. 

Then the teachers and staff gave a fun little performance (above) that tells the story (I'm over simplifying it here) of a series of reincarnations that started with a fish and supposed to end with this figure -- the Indian equivalent to the Messiah -- that will purge all evils on earth and ends this evolutionary/reincarnation chain. (There was a beautiful intro to this performance but I missed it cos I didn't know how to work the camera on my phone ~ DOH!)

Every now and then we need to calm the mind and think about where life is going and yoga (in meditation or asana practice) does provide that space. This afternoon's practice was especially liberating, now that my right leg hamstrings are almost healed. 

The Weird and Wonderful

Yoga instructor Simon Low is known for his slightly unconventional approach to the practice. While he says he had learnt from the different schools -- Ashtanga, Iyengar, Anusara, Bikram and so on -- he doesn't belong to any. What he teaches now is known as Yin Yoga, a particular style that I am interested in (see my earlier entries on Paul Grilley), with restorative yoga integrated into his teaching/practice. 

I'm currently taking a four-day workshop with him and the man is good. And I can't tell you exactly why/how he is good (other than the fact he comes across as very intelligent and is very good at articulating his ideas), you just have to practise in one of his classes to understand what I mean. Yesterday afternoon, he led a flow (yang yoga) class in which we kept moving from one pose to another, one sequence of poses to another, for over two hours. And the strangest thing was, instead of getting tired, after about 90 mins, we got more and more energetic and I could (okay weird yoga talk time) feel energy whirling around the studio; so when I lifted my arms, I could FEEL the power of the lift and the extension of my arms ... when instructors described this energy to me before, I was, like, Uh? What are you talking about? Now I know. And by the end of the class, I just felt Great. Positive. Confident.

Then after a quick early dinner, we had a restorative yoga session. This part of Yin yoga that Simon teaches is totally new to me and it is kinda ... "elaborate" in its setup/execution ... see photos below:

Seriously ... this is Yoga Therapy

It requires A LOT of use of props: blankets, towels, bolsters, eye bags, sand bags (!) ... basically anything you can get your hands on to support a pose that sets out to relax the body for a long period of time (15-20 mins) ... it's therapeutic I'm sure but I just can't see myself doing this on a regular basis.

Supported spinal twist

Simon did solve one riddle for me in this session: the Spinal Twist.Basically my spine doesn't twist well so whenever I get myself into this pose, if I push my bent knees onto the floor, my shoulder would come up off the floor on the other side, and if I push my shoulder down, the knees will come up (a bit like a see-saw). So the solution to this "problem" is to put a couple of blocks under my knees to give them enough of an elevation to allow my shoulder to rest on the floor. Voila! I get a twist as well as not straining the part that is off the floor (see demo left). Simon says the fact that some of us need that support doesn't mean that we are "bad" at yoga, but just cos we have very different body/anatomical type/built/makeup -- something that Yin practitioners are particularly aware of.

A Smaller & Closer World

I've been on Twitter for awhile now. Have to say at the beginning, it was pretty boring/useless ... not that many (interesting) people have signed onto it and I certainly don't have anything interesting to say that warrants a tweet every two mins. Also, its main function was pretty simple (basically you have to be precise with your BS). 

Today though, it's a completely different story. More users have since signed on, including people you'd never have thought existed otherwise or international journalists or celebrities. I've been following the actor Alec Baldwin for awhile and his tweets are actually quite interesting ... he even posted a pic of himself (in bed with gf) on Oscars night, which I thought hilarious. Most of the time though, he also talks about world affairs, even events that have nothing to do with this part of the world. But, can you imagine, this guy is now practically only a tweet away from all his fans/followers and ordinary folks (with a smartphone phone). I've also been following this goofy comic from the States (he did this really funny video of himself cos he looks like Ryan Gosling) and he lately posted a twitter link to a short documentary he made on his sister who suffers from cerebral palsy. It is a very moving and inspiring film.  

I'm also playing words with friends (my opponent is actually some unknown person out there), contributing to the Tactics Ogre game forum (tehe), and running an (international) blog. So, suddenly, the world seems so much smaller and people so much closer. It's hard to imagine where the human race will evolve from here as they become more empowered by information and knowledge. 

Gravity Rush

Have finally found a game that is quite fun and addictive! I first played Gravity Rush (Gravity Daze in Japan) at the PSP Vita launch and was instantly hooked: not so much on the gameplay (the main selling point is the flying mechanics) but the gorgeous graphics. It's basically an interactive/animated graphic novel. The game system is okay ... not as cool (and easy) as Third Birthday (where you can leap from one human host to another) but the fly mechanics is still fun. It needs a bit of practising though but once you get the hang of it (directional keys + top buttons) you stop plunging into the abyss. The only "con" I can think of is when you are off the ground, you don't really know where you are flying to and often end up somewhere you don't want to be (the abyss...)

I also found, and bought, the US version of Dynasty Warriors - Next. The graphics is, again, stunning but, man, the control is ridiculously complicated ... you have to memorise a long sequence (like, six buttons to press + swiping the touch screen) in order to execute one special move ... or just to get on a horse. Being clumsy that I am, I think get hacked to death by  enemy troops before I hit the saddles. I think I'll save the game for later ... I am not much of a button smasher but the weapon accessorising does sound interesting.

So, au revoir, Tactics Ogre ~ there is not much left to do ~ it's been REALLY fun ...  

Uggie!!!

Credit: AFP

Credit: Reuters

Headstand Tips

Here is a nice demo on how to do a headstand ... I wish my core is as strong! I normally flip over at the point when my hips are in line with my lower back ...

Credit: www.yoga.org.nz

One Controversy After Another

Below is a recent Huffington Post article by Elena Brower on the so-called "John Friend Controversy". Misconduct in the Yoga world ... but of course, there is misconduct in every sphere, every industry so am not at all surprised. Not that I am condoning it either. I remember I got into a (slightly heated) discussion with some yoga practitioners on this topic when I was at a retreat in Bali: is it okay for yoga instructors to bed their students, even they're both consenting adults? My answer is no (some think it's okay). The same reason why a doctor shouldn't bed their patients, teachers their students. The way I see it, there is this scared trust between teachers and students that shouldn't be breached (single or married). When a (male) instructor touches a (female) student, it is understood he is doing so to adjust a posture, not feeling her up. As simple as that. But at the same time, we are just humans and we all have emotions and impulses ... and yogis are not any different. My advice is, as students, just be sensible and, well, be alert.Yogis are not saints -- and even saints have their faults, I am sure.

I actually practised Anusara yoga when I first started my practice. That's partly because of my very inspiring teacher Lawrence, who made yoga so ... dramatic and fun. But eventually I stopped only because I don't think my body -- the tight shoulders and hips -- is built for this particular style (if there is such a thing). When I am upside down, there is NO WAY I can squeeze my shoulder blades and open my heart ... I just struggle to breathe and balance. Now I just have a mixed practice with special interest in Yin yoga. I've already signed up a Yin Yang workshop by the UK-based Simon Low next month. (Incidentally, John Friend was here last year to give a couple of workshops). 

Source: Huffington Post

2002. Inner Harmony Retreat, Southern Utah. Forty of us in the room. Amongst us were Desiree Rumbaugh, Deb Neubauer, Noah Maze, Christina Sell, Darren Rhodes, Ross Rayburn, Sianna Sherman, Mitchel Bleier, Todd and Ann Norian, Michelle Synnestvedt, Amy Ippoliti, Sue Elkind, Naime Jezzeny, Anthony Benenati. It was an unforgettable time; John Friend was at his finest, delivering the most crystalline teachings both physically and philosophically. Krishna Das played for our shavasanas, Benjy and Heather Wertheimer played during our classes. We were having consistent, deep experiences of our hearts and felt strong both individually and as a community on that mountaintop. Profoundly inspired, we brought those hours and pages of learnings home to our local communities and, without knowing it at the time, were shifting the landscape of yoga forever. We loved what we were learning, we cared deeply about our work as local teachers, and we respected and loved John.
Since then, John Friend created for himself an interestingly powerful seat, and amidst his stellar teaching, made some unfortunately destructive choices over the years. After his disgruntled I.T. guy recently posted his salacious electronic interactions for all the world to see, everything in the Anusara community began to crumble. Within the context of that disintegration, it's become apparent that within the community of teachers, there were two discernible camps. As you'll see, one of the "camps" knew less and were definitely more "in the dark" about the "real" John than others of us. Together, we were a dedicated group of assiduously studious teachers who chose to be there and truly did make an impact in the world of yoga. We received an incredibly rich and precise education, and in the language of the heart, we all found our voices and made real careers out of our work, and that felt so true for a long time.


The Two "Camps" Within Anusara
There were the ones in John's closer circle who "knew" of his penchant for women, partying and fun; I'm from that camp. None of us were shocked to see that evidence, although admittedly it was disturbingly graphic and veered from embarrassing to awful to deeply sad. I'll offer some thoughts from that perspective in just a moment.
Then there were the ones who had absolutely no idea about any of it. Those folks are devastated at John's breach of ethics and morals. To them, this whole situation feels like the earth-shattering discovery of the end of the sky on the Truman show. They're talking about the failed power grab, the just-plain-icky "sex therapy" that looks eerily like sexual abuse within the context of the student-teacher paradigm, except that the "victim" seems to have been a willing participant. They're understandably disappointed to hear that he cheated on his girlfriends repeatedly, lied to so many about his dealings and whereabouts as certain relationships ended and others began. For them, this is irreparably difficult, extremely sad, and truly the breakdown of a deeply-set paradigm in their lives both personally and professionally, with potentially far-reaching financial implications.
Even for us, the ones who knew some (but none of us really knew all of it), it felt terrible to see, from both sides: How could he? But then we realized, how could we? We were oftentimes complicit -- some of us enabled the liar to lie by lying for him ourselves. There were these strangely uncomfortable, spooky moments in the past few years, to be sure; I was asked to help cover up one big personal lie for John, which ultimately needed to be cleaned up on my end. There was some fairly erratic teaching and seemingly incongruous commentaries as well. Shortly after the time that John unveiled his new philosophical model of "Shiva-Shakti Tantra," there was also a shift in the business model, it seemed: We were notified that we'd all be obliged to give him first creative say in any products we made going forward and then 10 percent of any revenue we generate from said products. It felt strange; this wasn't how it was when it began. It felt desperate and wrong.
When we explored the legality of it all, it was clearly flawed and didn't stand up. And, with all due respect, I never felt connected to the Shiva-Shakti Tantra at all. It felt manufactured to me. I stayed because of the history, the quality of my education, and most of all, my fear about losing my standing in the yoga world. The night I called John to resign, back in October 2011, my first apology was for letting that fear rule my world, for staying for the wrong reasons, when true integrity would have had me leave long before.
John seemed threatened, sad, unsure and at times, unsteady. Several of us tried to talk to him about it, only to be met with denial and even sometimes anger, which in many cases drove us, in our own personal ways, into old patterns of wanting to please our "parents": backtracking, questioning ourselves, adding to the mounting pile of lies, assuaging him so we could stay in his good graces, feel safe, and keep our lives in order. That part might be the saddest part, and the part about which I'm personally most sorry, this repeating of family patterns in this professional context.


Holding Out For Healing
I love the methodology of Anusara yoga. I've spent over a decade learning this graceful technology of the body and articulating the voice of my heart; both understandings are gifts for which I will always be grateful. Even though I resigned my certification those months ago as a means of separating from the aspects for which I don't stand, now I stand for forgiveness, and the possibility that John can deliver, one by one, the necessary well-wrought apologies. That he can true up his past and truly heal -- in honor of his family, his school, his teachers, and his students. May he become an example of burgeoning integrity for all the world to see.
Whether we left for fiduciary reasons, political reasons, or this misconduct; whether we felt constrained by the requirements of class sequence and content requirements or simply didn't connect authentically to the new philosophy, all of which were true in part for me, the bottom line is that many of the finest teachers in the land have had a hand in this ever-evolving dialogue. There is so much possibility now; all of these well-trained teachers are fully empowered and amongst the best in their craft. We should all be proud of the education we've received, and commit to sharing it, collaborating and cultivating more spacious conversation.
A couple of final notes, thank you for reading this far:
YogaDork, with all due respect: That salacious, desperately sensationalized voice with which you wrote the article "breaking" the story about John was not amongst your relevant contributions to the yoga world thus far. It was painful to watch you make light of a man's life like that, in the name of "news." I will not be contributing any more to your page until you release a true apology -- both to John and to the teachers who've spent years learning from him. He is another human being, albeit with some highly questionable choices, but your heartless articulation did nothing but harm your own credibility.
Finally, while this may seem elementary and too-sweet, the four-eyed dweeb in me really wants to share this. A dear friend compared the teachers John has trained to a handful of glitter. Imagine one big breeze, the glitter goes flying far and wide, thereby spreading all of those distinct, sparkling voices everywhere. Superbly trained teachers, these beautiful, fallible, dedicated humans are sharing potent understandings of alignment and attention all over the globe.
Find one, and take some time to study with them.