Smack! Smack! Smack!

"Yoga makes you feel healthy, strong, and limber which will immediately boost your self-image and self-confidence." (Pure Yoga)

Not quite the case after my Hatha1 (beginners' level) this morning. Having practised for close to two years I'd decided to take a "basic" class (@ 9am!) by this yogi/teacher famous/infamous for his disciplined/strict approach to yoga practice/teaching. I was convinced I'd benefit from it... after all, a very good teacher once told us that it is always good to practise the basic poses because they form the very foundation upon which you build your future practice, you have to make sure the alignment is correct and remind yourself why you go on the mat in the first place.

 

Hips higher, back straighter, heels touch the ground!!

Anyway, the class began and we did our first down dog. However, instead of proceeding onto the next pose, we stayed in down dog shape for quite an extensive period of time. Which was fine until I heard:

PAK!

miGOD, did someone just had their thigh smacked/slapped?! Then ...

LEGS STRAIGHT!

PAK! PAK!

Oh yes, said teacher was going AROUND THE STUDIO checking EVERYONE'S POSE and if you don't get it right?

SMACK!

An acute sense of FEAR began to swell in my down dog chest ... and I could almost hear the JAWS theme in my head as the corner of my eyes followed Smacker's shadow, moving closer, Closer and CLOSER ...

I was ready to go up dog and beg for mercy by the time he reached my mat and was standing behind me. Then he simply pulled my hips up and back to allow my heels to down the ground. My pose was closer to perfection. Then he moved on.

Phew! But later on, he returned (to correct another of the only FOUR basic poses we practised) and I was, like, NOOOOOO ... the class became mentally as well as physically tortuous. Though he didn't smack me, when he told off the woman next to me (and she was REALLY GOOD): "Why do you keep moving up and down your mat????" SMACK! I thought, this is it, never again!

Yes, I think it was probably the second or third class over the past two years when I actually counted the minutes to asvasana (dead body pose). I felt healthy, strong and limber after the practice perhaps; but self confidence went down the bog (down bog ~ haha) very fast after the sound of the first thigh slap ...

Despite his physical superiority and arrogance, which can be pretty intimidating at times, The Perfect Human Specimen is not bad after all.  However, he will be spending more time in another studio so I will only take his Core class during the week, which means I now have MORE time to take OTHER classes ... who knows, maybe I will return to Smacker and get addicted to having my thighs, err, smacked?!?

Just a Couple of Images

Our Sweet Ding Ding finally passed away and joined his sister Dong Dong in Doggie Heaven last week. Have to say it was a relief for everyone because none of us wanted to see him suffer. He was diagnosed with spleen cancer more than a year ago so he'd lived much longer than expected.

Batman and Bolt are obviously relieved too given when Ding Ding was on steroid treatment, he just beat the crap out of them simply because, er, he wanted to. With Ding Ding gone, Bolt is now The Boss (well, that was what animal communicator Rosina told us anyway), which makes Batman The One Who Gets Bossed ... or does it? Below a couple of photos of him and Bolt ... he sure is no push over!!!

Bolt: Hey, who is the boss around here now? Look at ME when I'm talking to you!

Batman: Don't mess around with me, pal ... see the fate of Bolt? That's what is left of him!

Little Energy

Phew! It has been a busy couple of weeks (I was up at 4.10am unlocking my "new" and "real" second-hand Sidekick LX ... crazy but worth it) and I think all the hard work on the yoga mat has finally taken its toll. It's kind of strange. The left side of my body - neck, shoulder, hip, knee, leg - has gotten really weak/stiff in recent weeks ... I can no longer do the bind on the left hand side and my left knee (which had to be "drained" about half a year ago) never quite recovered from that trauma. I asked the perfect human specimen whether I was doing something wrong in class and he said no ... but advised me to seek medical help ... think I shall do that if things don't improve. In the meantime, I think I will scale down on the double-sessions ... I probably HAD over done it ~ a bit.

In the meantime, with my feet up, I've been looking through the Beautiful catalogue my friend brought back for me from the Caravaggio exhibition in Rome. Caravaggio has always been one of my favourite Old Masters ... without going all academic and theoretical, I appreciate his paintings for the richness in colours, the atmosphere, the shades, the drama, the expressions ... I can spend HOURS looking at just one work ...

The Supper At Emmaus (1606)

The Taking of Christ (1602)

... before I nod off ...

A Muddle

Not so fast! Yes, I'm referring to the (short-lived) euphoria over my latest phone purchase via ebay ... so it did arrive shortly after I uploaded my last posting and when the postman pressed the door bell I was already bouncing up and down like an eletcric Easter Bunny. Then came the most exciting part of receiving a new phone: the unboxing ... As I cut open the packaging I saw the box ... which is NOT the original box for the phone. Heart skipped a beat ... did they send me the wrong model? Then opened it and was relieved to see it is the phone I'd ordered. It took me a few minutes to open the battery door and when it finally did, my heart SANK ... "Made in China" ... HAR?!?!? How can it be? The phone I ordered is a Made in Japan Sharp!!! Then once the phone was up and running, it hanged several times so it was one disappointment after another. As the result, I decided to leave a Negative Feedback and ... impulsively bought another one - same model but definitely Made in Japan - from another ebay seller ... now I am worried the phone is NOT unlocked ... Bwah. Anyway, last night I got an email from the first seller, who appeared really upset by my negative feedback and said I could send the phone back and trade for another one!!!

Which is cool. So I asked for an unlocked Sidekick ID, which is an older model but one that I'd always wanted. The new LX is also on its way so ... now I have enough phones to open a shop.

A Good Old Sidekick

One of my all-time favourite phone models that is not available locally... one of the kind and Made in Japan!!! Just ordered one online (Danger is apparently stopping, or has stopped, production of the Sidekick line) for my collection ... a lot cheaper than when it first came out and it is now unlocked. The Sidekick LX (2007) looks a lot better than the SK3 that I used to have, though, like the SK3, I can only use it to make and receive calls/sms ... but I have other phones that can do other amazing things ... it should arrive any minute now!!!

Other phones I have: Blackberry Bold, Nexus (Google Phone), Nokia 5800, Sharp/ Docomo SH906i and the old Samsung E600C. The Bold is for work, super functional but boring. Nokia 5800 is by far the best phone despite crap camera ... it has touch screen and its text input methods (English, Chinese and Japanese)are unbeatable. It also has a voice dictionary that comes in handy (I think it is programmed in such a way that only the male voice will come on when you type in the word "fuck" ... I know, very juvenile...) The Japanese Docomo phone is just ... pretty especially when the multi-colour notification lights come up. The Samsung is just a piece of antique that reminds me I used to own LOTS of Samsung phones when I was really into Korean movies and TV dramas ...

Another Question - One of Etiquette

Last night I was at this Core Class (confession: I have masochistic tendency) and on the mat next to me was this middle age bloke (maybe a bit older than me, judging by his bald patch) who looked pretty keen to get started. Good on him. I think yoga is for all, and anyone/everyone can benefit from practising. Well, until I started to smell ... his feet. Oh yes. Stinky feet. To spare everyone the details, these are feet that had he washed them before hand, they would STILL smell ... (oh God, don't ask why) ... Anyway, I was already going "fuck, fuck, fuck" in my head while trying to stay calm and spiritual (and holding my breath, which kinda defeated the ENTIRE purpose of practising yoga) ... but WHAT could one do/have done? And to make things worse - A LOT WORSE - was that our instructor (the perfect human specimen), of all weeks, decided to have lots and lots of partner work yesterday ... SO, needless to say, Smelly Feet was my one and only partner for this class. Again, what could I have done? Tell him to bugger off? That is not nice. But so was partnering up with him. Anyway, as diplomatic as I could be, I told him to PLEASE stay on his own mat but he did eventually make his way to mine because ... welll, we had to partner up, right? Then there was this pose (really, I wish Perfect Human Specimen knew about my predicament) where I had to move over to Smelly Feet's mat and to MY UTTER HORROR AND DISBELIEF, he (his feet) was/were, like a snake during the winter months, PEELING. Yes, so there were *scream* bits of dead skins all over his mat and I was, like, OMG, OMG, EWWW ... I later also noticed he scratched himself A LOT.

If I catch ANYTHING from this guy I am gonna sue the yoga studio!

Anyway, I eventually survived the class, which concluded with the "Happy Baby" pose. Let me tell ya, I was one Pissed-off Baby by then and never before had I showered so hard and long after a yoga class.

This Question:

"Does it really matter?" Yesterday I stumbled across a blog thread that trashed a theatre review I wrote some years ago. He said my review lacked research, was contradictory and poorly written, apparently. Yeah, it was not the best review I'd filed but this wanky blogger, a certain Fernand* Gr*s, actually wrote to the publication that carreid the piece and complained (more to elevate his own self importance I feel). I remember this complaint and it bugged the hell out of me, even for a few seconds, not least, in the thread, he went on to suggest (what an ass) that his complaint had led to the downfall of the publication's editor some weeks later. Gee, get a life. First, he has no understanding of how newspapers work and of the editing process and, second, like many arrogant twits, he probably (just probably) thinks how dare an Asian person criticise English theatre?

Then I thought, does it really matter? (Have to admit this STILL bugs me after all this time... cos it is on bloody Google!)

Rewind a few days and I was in this yoga class. It was almost over - we were taking the savasana (resting) pose - and because I had to dash off to (wait for this) a theatre review, I got up and tiptoe-ed to the door. The instructor was standing by it and I thought he would just let me sneak out quietly. NO-O, Sir. He actually stood there looking ... fierce. I was, like, please get out of my way/face and he was, like, what the hell do you think you are doing ... then he whispered: DO NOT LEAVE EARLY IN THE FUTURE!! Gee, what is this? Military camp? Couldn't believe I got told off a yoga instructor! Then I thought, does it really matter?

Sorry for breathing ...

The thing is, life doesn't always go the way we want or expect and there will always be bumps along the way and, my belief is, I will keep doing what I do and as long as no one dies as a result, it's O.K. Besides, it's a free world so there will bound to be conflicts/wankers/stern yoga instructors etc. out there.  

Anyway, onto something completely different: the game I ordered - Yu Gi Oh Ultimate Masters - had finally arrived and, boy, is it a great game worth waiting for or what? Ultimate Masters is purely for trading card game geeks (like me ... I also played the fantastic Marvel Trading Card Game) because it offers no tutorials or explanations as to how to play it. You just get into it straightaway. Since I've spent about five years playing the earlier Yu Gi Oh Eternal Duelist Soul, this edition is not going to be a problem and will certainly keep me entertained for another five years ... yah, crazy!!!